Keep the Party Going BGI Stylie!!!!!
Ladies Ladies Ladies! Fall is upon us and the Hot Mess Express that is BGI would like to drown your No-More-Summer Blues in true Bad Girls Island Hottie style! Now, we here at BGI are all for limiting your alcohol intake for the simple reason that it will turn you into a bloated, festering Fatty McLosercaboose and we will be forced to withdraw your subscription privileges! Nobody wants that, especially that somebody (Moi) who needsneedsneeds this seasons Louboutins ;) But, since we here at the always hip, fashionable, and otherwise better than you BGI office understand that you and your BFF need to unwind 6-10 times a week, we have a few tips for how to get your party on without forcing us to post your measurements on Facebook!
So, BGI reader, you may be asking yourself, "What is it that Ms. Chick here could possibly suggest that would replace my Double Tall Extra Fruity/Dirty Cosmotini with a dash of Yak's Milk, shaken, with lime, lemon, AND extra cherries?" Excellent question BGI fan. I am here to tell you that you can still have that drink (just one though bitch, we're watching), lose some poundage, and have a great though most likely blurred time! The answer lies in just a few simple color rules. Write them down in your pink sequined Hello Kitty Blackberry under the title BGI + Pills = Woot! Here we go ladies!
Blue - this little pill will perk you up for about 20 minutes, then prompt you to want to kill cats and wear them as hats. To avoid any mess, or worse puffy allergy eyes, simply take another. Repeat until you are convinced your eyebrows are eating your forehead then sashay your booty to the closest bathtub for a little nap.
Red - normally this one will make you sleep like the Sleeping Beauty you could be if you stopped eating full fat yogurt. We here at BGI, after many many months of research, have discovered that if you combine this with pickle juice and a dash of Quaker State motor oil (ask your boyfriend what this is) the sensation of Paris Hiltonesque glamour washes over you. Be warned ladies, you might want to go commando with this one (we're just saying).
Yellow - this one is most likely a roofie. If you take this little fun bucket be sure your girls are there to document your every rambling, stumbling moment. These are the memories that you will treasure forever, so make sure they are posted on Facebook AS-to the-AP!
and finally
Viagra - if it works for the boys it has to work for the girls because we are all people and stuff. This one is especially important if you have taken any of the lovely yellow dolls!
Now get out there ladies and keep the warmth of summer alive! Kisses!!!
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